Throb

Reboot

Feeling tilted. Clumsy bastard, somehow I dropped and broke a big chunk of my social life. Waking up nauseous, shaking, as I ride out a rare bit of serious turbulence and self reflection. I've been finding inspiration in making lists, re-learning how to be creative, pulling away from my old work/bar-centric lifestyle, getting exercise and generally running more than ever on instinct and drive. I hope to be on firmer grounds very soon. In the meantime: I'm sorry I missed your party, sorry I've been a bit edgy, sorry I left early last night, sorry I can't just be a chipper little camper. Rebooting and will be back to good old ecstatic self soon.

Mojo

Love this portrait of Melissa, one of the favoritest people I know:

Woohoo!

Got a promotion at work. Right on. Having strange the-world-can-be-nice/stress/I-need-one-of-those-Japanese-fake-girlfriend-laps moment.

Also I want to buy yards and yards of this stuff.

Hasselblad

I got a chance to go out with a friend and take some pictures with her rockin' old school Hasselblad a couple of months ago. I'm going to get some of these printed fairly large (the negatives are 2" x 2"! - suggestions for which ones to print are welcome...), but for now I've uploaded some scans to a new flickr set.

Thanks Tara

On being social

A friend asked me in an email how I managed to keep up such a complicated social life, when she is so shy... Personally think I'm rather socially inept compared to some folks I know, but for whatever reason I managed to come up with the following sickening hippie self-help tirade/philosophical self-expression:

I think the only trick I know is to be interested and interesting. Most people have something interesting to say for themselves, believe it or not, but sometimes it takes some doing to get it out of them. I tend to lean toward being carefully assumptive. People like to talk about themselves, but I think when they're doing this they're really trying to express their individuality by relating personal success to the implied incompetence or poor choices of others. In other words, you can make fairly powerful connections with other people by 1) being the first to express lust/admiration/respect for them, then 2) listening carefully to them spin their own tales, 3) demonstrating that you understand by wittily engaging them while they're doing this, then 4) bringing something to the table that they can use. I have no idea if this works, but I think I'm homing in on a system. Really all I want to do is have fun and be a badass, both which goals still require some goodly amount of striving. As does the tertiary goal of being able to write a comprehensible sentence. If you need someone to remember you, do something memorable, even if it involves some reasonable personal embarrassment. Most people you will ever really get a chance to talk to are kind of lonely at the moment: so be nice to them, ask them insightful questions about what they're doing or what they are that makes you want to talk to them in the first place. Flirt, subtly, with everyone you meet. Realize that you only have one life and that the people you connect with in it are inexorably tied to your power, self-image, understanding of what's important in the world and opportunities for joy and realization. Don't forget who you were when you were at your best if that isn't right now, you owe that person. Fuck with other peoples' minds a little bit, most folks find it kind of entertaining and challenging. Convince the people you know to pose for pictures, everyone loves this. Touch people, hug people, smile at people, talk to strangers too much rather than too little. Be nice, be cool. Speak expressively and use your hands and eyes and smile to great effect. Effuse your conversation and interactions with other people with your personality, or the personality of the person you feel like being. Visualize the relationship you wish to occur, and play your part. Express yourself, even if you are communicating love for something the person you are talking to has discarded, or expressing distain for something the other person enjoys... at least you are being honest and worthy of their attention. Think about the strengths and interests of the person you are talking to and play to them. Focusing on weaknesses, cracks, holes and other forms of shit directs your precious attention to them and will cause them to grow - if you don't correct them while you're paying attention to them. Sparing an eye for the goal and the big picture will save you much grief. Most of the time it is more useful to focus interactions with other human beings on positive things and growth and goals and dreams. Weeds cannot compete effectively because they have poor strategy. However: don't hesitate to be surreal, be dada. Connections between things are interesting to everyone, even if they exist merely to challenge the imagination. Communicate effectively by balancing the need to connect with others and relate information with them with their relentless need for proof of self-worth, power and the information they need to succeed at their own goals. Disregard small problems which may act as facades for bigger issues. Take confidences seriously, people tell you secrets because they need to tell someone and because they are trusting you and testing you. Respect change in the people around you. Nobody is the same-body twice. Have sex with all your being. I bet that Jimi Hendrix was one hell of a lover. And left handed!

Transferring the job of each box into number form is very laborious

I found this collection of pages from an old book called "How It Works... The Computer" surreal and absorbing.

What I did on my summer vacation

Spent the Saturday hanging around the house. Woke up early and cleaned and organized in preparation for later. Collected dentist's chair from friend's house and have made slight modifications to provide user access to controls. Relational mapping is reversed, however, due to antiquated un-programmable interface, so further experimentations may be required. Recorded chair and chair modifications using digital camera and posted to blog. Made trek to establishment known for pinball for lunch and a few drinks. Returned home, took stairs. Made effort to track down lost jacket using text-messaging function on mobile phone. If no response will re-ping tomorrow. Applied coat of gesso to whale vertebra and added very light layer of water-based acrylic pigment. Recorded stages on camera. Attempt to read is disturbed by disappointing music coming out of speakers. Will attempt to finish rooster later.

Dentist's chair

I bought a dentist's chair for my apartment. $50 for 500 pounds of sweet adjustable sweetness!

Sick and Tired of Being Hassled by The Man

I'm getting excited about attending the burning man festival/thing for the first time. Here are some pictures from last year's I found on the "official" site, where you can find info about the photographers and credits and so forth.

More in my Flickr set of rip-offs.

Drinky Crow

Maakies video if you click on the pic. This is so much like my life it isn't funny, except maybe instead of a gun I'm interested in buying a foreign car or maybe a Vespa.