Throb

The New Philosophy

Meme jump to freedom.

Be outrageously giftalicious.

ATD - Attention To Details. God is in them.

What you focus on will grow or fester, depending on your intention.

If you can't control it, be persistent, but patient.

The medium is only an important part of the message.

Communicate/connect/interface with style.

Document! Publish! The future will (likely) thank you.

You can do anything you set your mind to, provided you are willing to do it enough times a day for a long enough period of time. If the glove doesn't fit, you mustn't commit!

Prayer and meditation and dreaming are, for most intents and purposes, the same damn thing. But they're good for you.

There are plenty of good excuses to do an interpretive dance and/or propose an outrageous idea.

Don't allow other people to apply their morality systems to your own thinking unless you are their neighbor or are trying to sell them something.

Horoscopes are an example of something that is both worthless and interesting. Breasts belonging to married women are another. See also: politics, cats, the entire continent of Antarctica, People magazine.

Don't show up on first dates drunk. Also, you shouldn't be blogging right now.

Flying Spaghetti Monster Playa Terrorizer

It occurs to me that Jason and I could make only slight modifications to our Burning Man bike hammock project to make it look like the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

1. Create hammock bike
2. Decorate it to look like FSM
3. Dress like pirates
4. ???
5. Profit!

Daily Wisdom

"I'm a lonely insignificant speck on a has-been planet orbited by a cold, indifferent sun."

- Homer Simpson

August 22, 2006

As an exercise in positive visioning, I've decided to write what I hope is a typical Throb entry one year from now:

• Woke up and ran to the gym, backwards. I can now do 100 inclined situps with 20 lbs on my chest in one minute. Abs are now visible through fairly loose t-shirts. For some reason calves are sore from marathon sex last night.
• Heard back from publisher, book edits came back. Entire chapter on my interactive art show in Ibeza is omitted.
• Beth is in counseling again. Apparently it is difficult to maintain a well-rounded relationship with such a hyper-intelligent and handsome man. I'm thinking about telling Jason to take it easy on her.
• Sprint-Nextel-Cingular-T-Mobile has decided to go with Google-Real to be their sole media content delivery platform! I almost told them to go to hell after they low-balled us and we signed with China Mobile-Unicom-DoCoMo, but decided I could spare the 30 or so developers and QA heads we need to pull this off.
• It seems my standards document has made it to the desk of some pretty powerful folks. Bill Gates famously remarks: "I wish I had this kind of vision when I was young." Jobs is being close-mouthed, but Pixle has applied for a bunch of patents to create devices based on MUI APIs.
• Of course, you already know about Matt dancing in the Space Station. Way to go man!
• I've almost forgotten what a hangover feels like.
• Can't wait for Burning Man.

Time

The Stooges

A friend forwarded me this excerpt from an Iggy and the Stooges Bumbershoot rider:

Security: We will require the use of two dedicated and intensely loyal security persons to be stationed at the entrance to each of the two dressing rooms. Or do I mean one at each? Otherwise that would be four. And I think we only need two, one at each door. Wait a minuet, let's start again. May we have two dedicated and loyal security men, preferably built like a brick shithouses, one for each of the doors leading to the two dressing rooms. Unless ether of the two dressing rooms has an extra door.

OK
Please count the number of doors in the dressing rooms and supply security
guards in a
1to1 ratio to that.

hm

Guy out in front of the Millionaire Club homeless employment service stops me as I walk by this morning and asks if I'm a mechanic and would like to work. Distressed jeans may be doing their job too well.

Cute girl from work comes up to me, pulls me slowly aside, whispers in my ear: "I really like your friend."

Buddy (ahem) observed stealing neato vintage clock from bar while inebriated. I was with him. And I had used my credit card at the bar. Phone message this morning informs me that replacement charges will appear on MY credit card if clock is not returned promptly. But! I....

Oh nothing is safe from the blog.

Fortune cookie that came with thai food at work: "You have sound business sense." Morale propaganda?

You know, I bet you could make a buck off of that...

Choose your own adventure

1) You wake up in a blossom of light. The backlit silhouette of an angel is stroking your head. She is the Mona Lisa.
You realize that you are lying on a cloud bank during a sunrise; the gentle poinks of harps titilate and surround you, lifting your body in time to the music. You are a marionette with thousands of stroking strings.

Do you:

A) Freak out and demand freedom and free will (Go to 2)
B) Relax and go with it (Go to 2)
C) Sing in the shower, tell The Aristocrats joke, give Mona a kiss, have a chortle and slowly make love to her (Go to 2)

2) Nothing changes, this is heaven.

The End

Someone has, like, been here before

Wow. This random Ask Metafilter page about finding pornography in the woods has me in stitches. It reminds me of the first images of naked girls I saw as a kid riding the bus to school. I'm really glad that it seems to turn out that extremely dangling labia like the first ones I laid my eyes on (pun intended) are actually kind of rare.

We now return to regularly scheduled programming.

Konzert-Flügel für Schimmel

Ich fand dieses interessante Klavier. Ich wundere mich, wenn es hart ist, den Sitz zu justieren?