« Bikes | Main | As the thing I hate in my head dies due to the pressure of my hands on its throat »

Story Seeds, Part III

  • A boy is born with an extra set of arms where his legs should be. He is an excellent pianist and a skilled typist. Beyond QWERTY, his keyboard contains heretofore unknown glyphs. Also, he can flip you off twice as much as the average person.
  • You die. It becomes immediately apparent upon entering purgatory that the Greeks had the gods more right than the Christians did. You've been horribly negligent in your offerings to Aphrodite, among others, and she's pissed about it.
  • The grass is literally greener on the other side of the fence. Your neighbor has a secret, and you're not about to let her get away with it. You WILL have the cooler lawn mower.
  • NASA scientists discover hibernating fungal spores in the ice from a comet. When the spores infect our minds it becomes apparent that our entire universe exists solely in the brain of a dying old giant squid in the Indian Ocean. And that it must be stopped.
  • It's 100 years in the future. Prostitution is the only human-based service industry that still exists. People are really innovative about it.
  • You are in love with an idea about yourself and refuse to budge. Sometimes everything falls into place almost magically. It feels really good. Other times you get bored with the whole thing and get rid of yesterday with a cold and decisive wave of your magical little fingers. Poof.
  • Public nudity comes into vogue. Fashion becomes about clips and cuts and scars and piercings.
  • A man kills his multiple children by multiple wives to get out of child support. Because he is a mad genius, the murders all look like accidents and he gets away with it.
  • It turns out your parents were lying to you in a deeper way than you ever imagined: There really is a Toothfairy, a Santa Claus, a God, and everybody knows it. It's easier to let people in their teens and twenties believe they were being duped as children. The Toothfairy demands you make a sacrifice or two. You really don't have any choice. Quarters are the only currency in this world.
  • A gay man is surgically inseminated and becomes pregnant. Artificial hormones and caesarian section. The child is declared to be the next Dalai Lama. Gender wars.
  • You are a failed artist. A famous photograph of the mix of blood and gray matter on your wall after you shotgun your head off becomes the best-selling thing you ever had anything to do with. You get to watch all this on the big screen from your padded cell in hell.
  • Life on earth adapts to global warming with remarkable finesse. The ocean is steaming... but life continues. Things with fatty tissue die off, things with long skinny legs and feathers adapt and evolve and expand: The goddamned mutant ostriches get into your boiling trash all the goddamned time and you can't properly chase them off in your goddamed air-conditioned spacesuit.

August 14, 2005 in Story Seeds | Permalink


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Story Seeds, Part III:


The comments to this entry are closed.