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Dear Universe,

What I'd like for Christmas:
  • One (1) Danish contortionist/masseuse/model/stripper girlfriend who makes her own whiskey, grows flowers, herbs and marijuana, plays banjo, likes to talk about technology while seducing me and can help me conquer trivia night.
  • Bill O'Reilly's head on a silver platter.
  • One (1) stick of shiny red lipstick so I can write funny slogans on forehead of above.
  • An all-expenses paid trip to visit Matt when he gets to Thailand, if he's going there, and Corinne, who will give me:
  • One (1) month of naked scuba diving lessons.
Sincerely,
Rob

December 20, 2005 in General Insanity | Permalink

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