Throb

Mindbogglingly awesome ideas for art projects

• Erotic Fractals - Chunks of photos of female body parts laid out in complex geometric patterns, (quite obviously) condemning the objectification of women while alluding to the great works of surrealism, op art.
• The above rendered as a sculpture.
• The above rendered as a sculpture but with some references to toys, robots and grocery store products added, ala Jeff Koons, via Warhol.
• The above scaled so as to achieve earthworks scale.
• The above wrapped in canvas.
• Naked children climbing added to the above, ala Led Zeppelin.
• Top down pictures taken of above, ala Google Maps, incorporated via hack-art into said website when you search for "God" or other all-encompassing unlimited art-capable word or words.
• Use of open APIs to add touching and/or disturbing labels to bits of above and/or incorporate data from other websites.
• Video installation demonstrating use of above. Should be given a clever name using words like "Composted" or "Recycled" or "Placenta."
• Dance/musical to be performed under projection of above.
• Cocking of audience eyebrows to be directed towards scary homeless guy masturbating to public performance of above
• as he rants.

Christmas 2005

Had a nice Christmas with the family, highlights of which include the lamb dinner, my dad's 12 yr Scotch, the musical collaborations. With my dad and brother Ewan on harmonica and me on guitar we played every song we all knew, even with a few stabs at family harmonizing, which experiment should only be attempted by the very skilled or the very drunk (I'm afraid we were more the latter).

I'm hungry and full of love and deliciousness. I'll post something more jaded later, in a good mood now.

Dear Universe,

What I'd like for Christmas:

• One (1) Danish contortionist/masseuse/model/stripper girlfriend who makes her own whiskey, grows flowers, herbs and marijuana, plays banjo, likes to talk about technology while seducing me and can help me conquer trivia night.
• Bill O'Reilly's head on a silver platter.
• One (1) stick of shiny red lipstick so I can write funny slogans on forehead of above.
• An all-expenses paid trip to visit Matt when he gets to Thailand, if he's going there, and Corinne, who will give me:
• One (1) month of naked scuba diving lessons.

Sincerely,
Rob

Photoshop is bad for you

Florida

Brief notes on last week's trip to Florida:

The Sprint Nextel corporation/conglomerate is terrifying. Massive. Bigger than cocky, almost.. zeitgeist. I was reminded of the first scene in Star Wars, where the Imperial Cruiser rolls over the top of you. Or surfing in too big of waves. Or, better, trying to surf in too big of waves but spending most of your time ducking into them and wearing yourself out.

That said, we're also going places together. Like the little fish that keep the teeth of sharks clean. We need each other. Sort of.

After the Sprint conference, I spent another day in the swanky conference resort. $30 bought me a Killians and a Makers and the opportunity to sit at a bar reading a book on business strategy among the flirting grow'd up frat boys and prim ladies in biz caz. I went for walks around the infinity pool and along the beach. I decided that I needed to find a real bar with bonafide human beings and decided to walk north during what would, in Seattle, have been a typically overcast evening. Of course, in Florida that means that a tropical storm was coming, so I trudged through drenching warm horizontal rain until I found a shelter. I'd been told that storms here were short lived. All I know is I got though two more chapters and my jacket had almost dried before I was able to resume my quest. I rolled into one of the Great Bars around 7:30pm and proceeded to drink myself silly amid classic country songs and surfboards. I survived Hurricane Pathetic.

The next day I drove up to the Ocala National Forest and went horseback riding with my friend Jen. I'm not one to toot my own horn ungoaded, but this experiment verified my suspicion that I am an extremely naturally gifted horseman. I managed to retain my relatively balanced position on the saddle even at a full canter and even managed to coax the beast generally into the direction I intended. Normally not one to raise my voice, I regardless emulated our guide and barked, "Ghost! Walkalong!" as if I were a gifted programmer dev-testing a the last few lines of code in a massive software project. I mounted and dismounted like a man who has seen it done by the very best in movies. I rode like the breeze.

Tomorrow

I had this terrifying vision of the future:

Unrest in the mideast, fomented by the Bushist war in Iraq, leads to a dramatic increase in Islamicist terror events in France and Turkey. Driven by the ensuing chaos, Europeans shift to a more anti-eastern stance, tightening boarders and immigration standards, thereby causing protests among Muslim populations of the world. Further terrorist attacks follow, including dramatic bombings in Paris and Barcelona. Europe and America align together somewhat with Syria as the known enemy. Internal protests in these countries are increasingly handled with force.

An American political situation leads to a staged pullout of American forces from Iraq, eventually leading to civil war and genocide. Ironically, democracy prevails.

In a rational decision following recent history, Iran refuses any international investigation into its nuclear energy and weapons efforts and moves successively to the right politically. Iran invades the decimated Iraq and a new government rapidly emerges that holds power over both lands. The United Nation of Islam is officially unrecognized by the UN and the US, however it quickly finds powerful trading partners in some of the former soviet states and Russia, as well as some developing nations in Africa.

Syria, the UNI, a freshly royalist Saudi Arabia, and a few smaller islamic countries join in a collective under the leadership of a powerful Islamic cleric to protect conservative Islamic culture and further the economic power of member nations. All member countries formally withdraw from the United Nations, leading to a crisis in that organization. The UN forms a new structure consisting of 11 "premier" nations, including the US, Russia, France, Germany, China, Japan and Brazil. These nations can veto UN measures with a majority vote among them, a 2/3 majority of them can essentially control the UN's increasingly powerful military powers.

Increasing polarization in the world leads to strategic plays for Africa. The United States, lead by a powerful Democrat president, gives billions of dollars in food and medical aid to larger countries in that continent, with the requirement that large numbers of the population of "donor" countries join and train as members of the UN "peace-keeping" armed forces. A populist uprising occurs across Africa, islamicist ideas spread among the general populous, creating revolutionary wars against pro-UN governments.

Bird flu erupts in southeast Asia. The general tide of the virus is contained and controlled by an isolation of infected groups, but parallel efforts to create a vaccine unleash an adapting virus which turns out to be much harder to stop.

Mad

Mad magazine covers back in time. I found these covers to be an interesting way to look at history.

Corkscrews

terminal illness
[travel]
sound policy
[noise]
dirty mind
[germs]
deadline
[rigor]
open mind
[operation]
moving picture
[ghost]