Throb

Progress

I bought a new Mac, monitor and TV set up this week. This'll be the first TV tuner I've ever owned and the integrated DVR functionality makes it a doozy. I've been pursuing some goals related to not dying before 40, so I figure that sitting around the house a little more and sitting around in bars a little less is probably a good thing. So Phase 1 involves getting a bunch of entertainment and creative productivity enhancers (done). This combined with more frequent exercise (so I can look more like this brainy monkey) and a healthy fruity breakfast occasionally augmented by experimental drug use should spontaneously cause me to laugh uproariously for no apparent reason. Phase 1.

Phase 2 will involve:

• Serious weightlifting - I will have 14" biceps
• Buying a suit - With striped trousers
• Getting some wheels - I want to mod a Hummer to allow it to be powered by aborted fetuses - to confuse everybody
• Instead of drinking beers and whiskeys together, start alternating beers and whiskeys with martinis or other classier drinks
• Demanding that easter eggs with bizarre inside jokes be included in all our software products
• Collecting everyones' mail addresses so I can send them random bizarre gifts

I just saw a skateboarder totally rip his knee open.

Dangerous Lurkers!

We will kick their asses by luring them into our friends' cul-de-sacs!

We will surround them with our slingshots and force them to take a stand while we pummel them with mean observations about their poor breeding and short penises! We will go YouTubing down a river of the blood of their precious hamsters and curse them for the pain in our stomachs from laughing at their twisted doom!

We will make friends with their mothers to learn their nasty childhood secrets for humorous additions to our blogs! Their girlfriends will cry out while we make sex with them (the girlfriends)! HaHA!

A healthy dose of self-deprecation

Went dancing after a party on Saturday night and entertained the illusion that I look sexy attempting to combine the two styles of dance I think I know how to do: 90's gay raver club and bhangra. Usually I throw in a little Australian Aborigine stomp style that I saw in a movie once. Feels good. Sometimes I'm a little shy about being taller than everyone else on the floor. Then I OWN it.

Got the cheek when I went in for a relatively polite kiss after a second date. She's either got class or problems, neither of which have any business creeping into my life. Maybe I made her mad by asking pointed questions about her profession, which really is kind of alternative and obscure. I thought I was being interested.

Had an interaction with a cop this weekend. I was a "suspect." I had "evidence." I rode the razor thin edge of the law, and ladies and gentlemen I lived to tell the story. But not here. My lawyer's advised me to keep it off my blog.

Enjoy sentences with implied subjects.

Looking for a book to read that doesn't have anything to do with non-fictional accounts of how man is destroying the world. Something funny and poignant. Got any ideas? "Collapse" has turned my soul into a whimpering puppy.

Sid

Rob Gonsalves - Seamless Pictures